These are some pick-up lines that will get the livin shit slapped out
of you guys so think twice before you use em.
1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my
head and wear you like a feed bag.
3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning.
do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go
with your face.
6. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
7. My love for you
is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I would love to tap that ass.
10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left
leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether
to mount you or eat you.
12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
13. Could I touch your
belly button . . . from the inside?
14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
15. How about we
play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you." Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I
said you look fat in those pants"
17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
18. Fuck me if
I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
20. Hey baby
what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
21. I can't find my puppy can you
help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.
22. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back
while you blow the hell out of me.
23. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
25. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only
one talking to you.
26. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.